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How Come He Flirts with Me, But Doesn’t Ask Me Out?

There’s a man who flirts with you all the time. You feel an intense attraction. Your heart might flutter and it’s so exhilarating you are sure he must feel it too! But – he never asks you out!

This situation has happened to so many women. What about you?

You know a man at church, work, or among your friends who flirts with you every time he sees you. Sometimes he actually makes a beeline right to you. It seems that he’s very interested in you and he says funny things or maybe touches you lightly. Sometimes these guys have actually gone as far as kissing you on occasion.

Whenever you see him, you feel an intense attraction. You feel prettier after talking with him. Your heart might flutter and it’s such an exhilarating feeling. You are sure he must feel it too! It’s just not possible that you are the only one feeling this. The attraction. The excitement. However, and this is very big –

He Never Asks You Out!

Things are simply stuck at flirtation and it drives you totally nuts. You find it extremely hard to stop thinking about him. Whenever you run into him, you relive every moment over the days that follow. You revisit every word he said, the way he smiled, and how he looked at you. You imagine feeling his light touched you on the arm or shoulder and the sensations that coursed through your body as a result.

Which leads you to wonder, “Why he doesn’t ask me out?” This chain of events  causes a degree of frustration because you do not understand how can this be! Why doesn’t he take it to the next obvious step?

Many clients have shared stories about this kind of thing happening at church and at work. It’s so noticeable, that other people have asked you about the two of you, thinking you must be something going on.

As a dating coach, three reasons come to mind for why he’s not asking you out:

1. Yes, there is an attraction. However, the guy is involved with another woman so he never asks you out. He enjoys flirting with you because it makes him feel good too.

2. He doesn’t want a relationship. But when he flirts with you, he gets the feminine interaction he enjoys without anything more require. He feels enlivened by your interaction and he loves the attention you give him. But trust me, he has absolutely no intention of ever taking this further. In addition, I’d bet you anything, this guy is not emotionally available.

3. There is something in his life keeping him from becoming romantically involved with anyone such as: financial trouble, health issues, emotional baggage, etc. Keep in mind that it doesn’t really matter since he has no plans to move ahead any time soon.

Please keep in mind that none of this is malicious. Yet, why is this so upsetting? Let me sum it up simply for you:

You assign meaning to his flirtations and think you are in some kind of relationship.

You read into what happens and see it as a potential for a relationship. But this is a mistake interpreting his intentions. THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP! Sadly, 99% of the time in these situations, it never will be.

Here’s the naked truth about Mr. Flirty

He Is Not Mr. Right. If he were Mr. Right, he’d be asking you out.

Some major flaw keeps this man from getting involved with you. Please don’t forget that key piece of the puzzle. If you have a flirty relationship driving you crazy right now, it’s time to re-evaluate. Remember, 99% of the time, this is nothing more than a dead end situation that will disappoint you and distract you from your goal – looking for and finding love with the right man for you.

I hope you can see this for what it truly is and are willing to let go and move on to better men who are ready for love with a great woman like you.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

oyedun abimbola March 25, 2013 at 10:04 PM
I like a guy and he do tell me he likes me but he never ask me out,and he is always telling me to kiss him and also tell me to sleep over at his place , I would love to but he did not ask me out. He do tell me that he got turned on any time we are chatting on bb.the first time we go out he told me am fun been with. Right now I don't no if I sdhould say he is flirting with me or he will still ask me out
Tee van March 31, 2013 at 04:36 AM
I totally agree ronnie, well said. Im going through this now with a guy, an reading this help me open my eyes, thanks!
Ronnie Ann Ryan April 02, 2013 at 05:03 PM
Tee van - glad to be of help - you can find a lot more dating tips on my site - just google me
Sylvia Chao June 06, 2013 at 01:16 PM
It's so nice to get an insight into what a man's action could mean. Thanks, Ronnie. But i'm still so perplexed...A guy met me at a party, asked me for a dance and insisted that I stay long because he wanted to spend time with me. He was such a gentleman throughout. He even went as far as telling my girlfriend that "She's my girl!" It was obvious that he liked me but after that night he has stuck to just a few casual conversations with no mention of the things he said at the party. What does this mean?
macsden October 24, 2013 at 07:09 PM
I've had the similar interaction with a guy at work who's cancer. The signals are so conflicting and I'm tired of dealing with it. I asked to see each other outside if work and he said anytime, then....nothing. I think he just wants a booty call. He has shared a lit about his life and said he doesn't want to be hurt. I've settled with liking him from. distance an trying to remove my feelings from this relationship in my mind.

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